1. Right when I walked in the front door today, Zemblanity’s repairman asked the cashier, “Do you believe that there are people out in space, on other worlds?” After a lengthy discussion of this, he asks “Okay, well then. Do you actually believe that astronauts landed on the moon.” Commence conspiracy theory discussion. Later, I found the repairman back in the kitchen and the cooks were really going for it. The fry cook, named Ed, was practically shouting about how genetic history proves a higher intelligence and that scientists have found- they have ACTUALLY FOUND- computer programs in our DNA. “Ones and zeroes, baby, ones and zeroes.” Diners, this is where your food comes from.
2. I was telling Miss Annette that I was going to see a Streetcar Named Desire with Cate Blanchett. She says, “I think Tennessee Williams lived in a hotel near here for awhile. Apparently he came in from time to time but somehow I always missed him. I would have liked to have met Tennessee Williams.”
I told her that I had just read that Tennessee Williams had been a big influence on John Waters of all people. “Well… yeah," she says. "They’re both crazy. But I doubt that Williams would ever have Blanche Dubois eat dog shit. John Waters did that you know. (I did know). In Pink Flamingos that was. You know, I knew Divine. We went out together to stay at this condo for week or two out at Fire Island. We had this cook friend who told us he would make us anything we wanted and so we said ‘Chicken.’ Well, Armond, that was his name, comes back with four whole chickens and I said, ‘there is no way that we’ll eat all that’ and Armond says, ‘these are just for Divine.’ She ate the whole thing. God, she’d sleep at night in nothing but a jock strap and would have to sleep diagonal so that she fit. I remember walking by when she had the sheets over her thinking she looked just like the biggest cream puff in the world."
Then Bernie, the accountant for Zemblanity, walks out, overhears us talking about Divine and says “Ah Divine… she was one of the greats.” Then Bernie walks off down the street to wherever it is he goes.
3. Big Gay Sam told this amazing story about how he would wait on Jacqueline Onassis in her twilight years. She was a very sweet lady, very demur. Once, after taking her order he went back into the kitchen and there was one of the other waiters, wearing a basket on his head in place of a pillbox hat, sitting on the counter and re-enacting the Zapruder film. “Oh… my… god! Roland! Don’t you have ANY decency!?”
4. I ought to say that for all the fracas, melee, and generally angry bedlam surrounding the holidays at Zemblanity, the actual holidays themselves were quite magical. For some reason, the crowds on Christmas Eve were really quiet and manageable. Everyone was happy for reasons no one seemed able to explain. All of the customers were kind and aglow. It was as if the impossible storm had finally broken and calm had washed over the island of Manhattan. But it hadn’t broken. After Christmas the next few days before New Years was a riot but… New Years Eve was a shift full of gladness. All of the busboys shook hands and exchanged greetings in their own languages. The cooks wore party hats. There was a kind excitement. Hell, I even hugged Tanya as I left. Ah, New Years in New York City!
5. Miss Annette: “God, there was this really good eggs place we used to go to after dancing at Studio 54. Where was that place? We used to only be able to stay awake for like five minutes or something before our faces started dropping into our plates."
No comments:
Post a Comment